The colder it got in America over the last few days, the more our nation turned to generating personal warmth. January 10, 2014 1:47 PM PST Some, though, decided to brave the elements for their entertainment. (Credit: CNN/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET) As I sat on my sunny Californian deck, reading about people buried 3 feet deep in snow, I thought to myself: "Ohio. Now where's that on the map?" My second thought was: "I wonder what they're doing out there, besides huddling and tossing boiling water in the air to make snow." It was more or less at that moment on Friday that my regular source of pornographic pulse-taking, The Washington Post, revealed an answer. It seems that the chilly temperatures incited a spurt of enthusiasm for online pornography. More Technically Incorrect Plane crashes, woman dies, survivor films and takes selfie Court to Yelp: Reveal names of negative reviewers Why everyone is talking about Old Spice's stalking moms Man pays $42,000 for Webcam session (with fetish model) The most worrisome Internet addicts? Workaholics The Post leaned rather alluringly on information provided Thursday by PornHub, a site that makes sore eyes water. In a highly enthusiastic post, PornHub insisted that its traffic during usual business hours on January 7 and 8 -- days when much of the country was experiencing record low temperatures -- had risen by 5.2 percent across America. However, the most riveting aspects were in the details. The state of Maine, for example, was clearly in a heightened state of alert, as its PornHub traffic elevated by 43.8 percent. Breathing seductively down its neck was Michigan, with a 42.1 percent increase. Now guess which chilly state came third, enjoying a 37.2 percent jolt. Yes, it had to be. Florida, of course. The state experienced a few unusually frigid temperatures. Normally, of course, the snow only cascades in certain South Beach nightclubs. Oddly, New York and New Jersey merely kept pace with the national average increase. Which might, to some, reflect a certain lack of imagination not seen among those states' politicians. In times of stress and distress, one can never tell where Americans will turn to decompress. But "whatever gets you through" is one of our many national mottos. America, your freezing porn selfie. (Credit: PornHub)
The colder it got in America over the last few days, the more our nation turned to generating personal warmth.
Some, though, decided to brave the elements for their entertainment.
(Credit: CNN/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET)
As I sat on my sunny Californian deck, reading about people buried 3 feet deep in snow, I thought to myself: "Ohio. Now where's that on the map?"
My second thought was: "I wonder what they're doing out there, besides huddling and tossing boiling water in the air to make snow."
It was more or less at that moment on Friday that my regular source of pornographic pulse-taking, The Washington Post, revealed an answer. It seems that the chilly temperatures incited a spurt of enthusiasm for online pornography.
More Technically Incorrect
- Plane crashes, woman dies, survivor films and takes selfie
- Court to Yelp: Reveal names of negative reviewers
- Why everyone is talking about Old Spice's stalking moms
- Man pays $42,000 for Webcam session (with fetish model)
- The most worrisome Internet addicts? Workaholics
The Post leaned rather alluringly on information provided Thursday by PornHub, a site that makes sore eyes water.
In a highly enthusiastic post, PornHub insisted that its traffic during usual business hours on January 7 and 8 -- days when much of the country was experiencing record low temperatures -- had risen by 5.2 percent across America.
However, the most riveting aspects were in the details. The state of Maine, for example, was clearly in a heightened state of alert, as its PornHub traffic elevated by 43.8 percent. Breathing seductively down its neck was Michigan, with a 42.1 percent increase.
Now guess which chilly state came third, enjoying a 37.2 percent jolt. Yes, it had to be. Florida, of course. The state experienced a few unusually frigid temperatures. Normally, of course, the snow only cascades in certain South Beach nightclubs.
Oddly, New York and New Jersey merely kept pace with the national average increase. Which might, to some, reflect a certain lack of imagination not seen among those states' politicians.
In times of stress and distress, one can never tell where Americans will turn to decompress. But "whatever gets you through" is one of our many national mottos.
America, your freezing porn selfie.
(Credit: PornHub)
